“I want 1.500.000 euro, not negotiable”

“Then play Lotto” “Ok, 500.000 is ok?”

Today I am in Timisoara for few hours, but on Friday I was in Cluj. The day was full of meetings there, as my “never ending quest” to find and purchase good properties continues. Cluj is also hosting these days TIFF festival, a Film Festival which is described (by the locals) as the most important Romanian one. So, if you want to have a taste of glamour, meeting VIPS and “celebrities”, Cluj is your destination these days…

Cluj, a city full of memories…
This time my visit there, except a potential new deal which is almost sealed and some other positive discussions, offered me the pleasure to remember some nice old memories… Usually I have 7 – 14 meetings daily. I have worked hard and achieved almost all of them to be with serious people, discussing about business in a civilized way. In the end of the day, it does not matter if we will agree or not, the important issue is to respect each other. But… you know, lately I missed meeting also couple of unserious people too, who try to trick me as if I am completely idiot. Am I masochist? Maybe… Did I ever bite the bait? No, but I still miss the feeling of meeting someone who finds himself much more intelligent than me, able to sell to me garbage in the price of gold.
So, an experience I had on Friday reminded me of a story that happened to me a couple of years ago in the same city. Allow me to share this with you, as what happened last week is almost similar…

“I don’t point the properties I showed you on a map, because you are a man = you are a pig…”
2007… year end. That day started with a “sweet” real estate agent who refused to point the properties on the map, telling me that I am man = I am a pig = I am too demanding = I have to be punished and she will not do what I asked her to. This strategy worked good with her husband and her sons, so she informed me that she did not intend to change behaviour her early 50s (you can guess that I never met her again, I searched for other “animals” like me in our zoo…)
Then it was another lady, having similar age, a bit naïve, but very honest and serious with me. She was trying her best to be professional and I always appreciate good intentions (at least for starters). We did together a couple of deals and then it was the time to go together for “an opportunity”. We visited together a commercial space in the center, where “by coincidence” one of the owners happened to be there too.

Suit, no tie and… sleepers on feet!
I love feeling the cold air on my face, it refreshes me so much. That December’s evening, Cluj was cold enough so as to make me try to arrange my clothes and make them be tighter on me, but I still enjoyed that freshness… It helped me to forget about the previous set of meetings during the day. I saw the famous church of Piata Unirii on my left and walked faster to my destination…
There I met a lovely foreigner, dressed in an orange suit without tie, but another detail was the “lethal” one: Sleepers on his feet, no shoes! His beard was “artistic”, his eyes a bit “lost in space”, he was obviously bored. Who knows why? Maybe because there were plenty of people promising to him deals and no one was actually finalizing something. His purple shirt was out of the trousers, as a “statement of free spirit”, I guess. You know, each of us has his own style, so I didn’t comment about this, I was just worried for his feet, as they were entering inside the dirt, that place was really very dirty… He was not so willing to show me around, actually he was a big upset I was asking questions etc, so in the end he interrupted me and decided to set up the rules of our conversation…
“And why should I tell you a price?”
The owner started talking… “Ok, you saw a lot. If you want, show me the money and buy it, if you don’t have money, you can leave”. “What is the price of this space?” “Hmmmm, how much do you think it worths?” “128 euro” “What 128 euro? What is this?” “This is the price I think it worths”. “Lady, why did you bring to me this guy? Why do you lose my time?” “Mister, don’t be upset”, I interfered. “I suggest to you to be kind enough and transmit to me a price for your property, a price that you avoided mentioning to this real estate consultant I collaborate with”. “And why should I tell you a price?” “I guess because you invited me here so as to purchase your property. I hope you didn’t think that I work in the national company for statistics and I just make a market research…” “I don’t want to sell, she begged me to bring someone to me and she said this someone has an offer which will impress me”. “So 128 is not impressive enough?”

“1.500.000 euro, not negotiable”
The distinguished gentleman thought for a while, scratching his head with his long nail (from the left hand’s small finger). “No, you tell me a price, I don’t intend to tell you mine”. “Ok, in this case I would have to thank you for your time, but I don’t buy properties without any price, even a theoretical one, just as a basis of discussion”. “Ok, 1.500.000 euro” “You intend to sell to me many more spaces with this price?” “No, just this one”. “So, without a tenant, something empty, ruined… and you want so much money, for such a small surface?” “Yes and for you it is NOT negotiable. One million five hundred thousand euro, read my lips” he spelled each letter slowly, I guess so as to help me understand the number easier (I know some people find me stupid, trying to trick me, but he is the first one who considered me retarded too, a nice progress, no?).

“Better for you to play Lotto instead”
“Ok, thank you very much for your time, I don’t want to steal any more of it”. “Why? They told me that you buy a lot of properties, what is for you 1.500.000 euro?” “Exactly what it is for you and for all the rest of the people in this world. So in case you want 1,5 million, I think it is better for you to play Lotto instead. I understand that they have plenty of jackpots, so sooner or later I will be happy to hear that a lucky foreigner living in Cluj was the winner”. I started walking my way out, being careful so as to identify a “not extremely dirty” surface and step on it.

“Ok, 500.000 euro is good for you?”
“Wait, wait… @#$%^&#@” (I guess some words of great compassion and appreciation for me, expressed in his own language). “Ok, 500.000 euro is good for you?” I stopped and turned around: “But you said that the price was not negotiable”. “Yes, I thought that you would buy like this, but if you really want the space, the price can be 500.000 euro. If you have money ofcourse, because I am sure you don’t have one euro in your pocket except the suit you wear. If you have, come on, prove it to me” “How to prove it?” “Give me 500.000 euro and buy the property NOW” “Without to check it with lawyers etc?” “You have my word, it is enough”.
“I prefer us to stay friends, to drink together, probably you a glass of whisky, while I will enjoy my fresh orange juice”. “What to talk about?” “I don’t know, I am sure we will find something. For instance, do you know any Romanian team? Are you a supporter of Dinamo? Or Steaua, like most of my friends, because the majority of women support Steaua too?”

Talking and spitting = an unpleasant “bath”
“I don’t understand, are you lost in space? What the f… are you talking about?” “Mister, would you sell to me your property if I would have insulted you with my words?” “No”. “So for the same reason I will not buy yours, you do not inspire me trust”. “And you tell me this on my face?” “Why? Should I better write it on a paper and hand it to you?” “Go, before I will invite my “square body” friends and they will beat you to death” he started screaming, talking and spitting around in the same time, offering to me an unpleasant “bath”.
The cold air was not so refreshing anymore… After the “impossible to avoid bath” I just had, I left the agent to discuss with him, probably to listen to him complaining to her that “she has to come with serious investors, not with stupids and poor people, because he doesn’t have time to lose etc”. I was walking towards my hotel, definitely feeling uncomfortable. But when I had my bath there and thought the whole situation again, a great smile appeared on my face…

PS. This lovely gentleman did not manage to sell this property in the end. It was proved out to be an intermediary, who simply tried to negotiate on behalf of the owner of the space, with the wish to arrange his fees too. I met him again during 2009, dressed with that characteristic purple shirt, this time in Bucharest. I said hello to him, he didn’t remember me. Too bad, a potential new friendship died before it was born…